Monday, December 14, 2015

What traffic sign reflects your life right now?


Reduced Speed Ahead
I sit down on the closest chair, grabbing my shirt and fanning it back and forth to cool my heated skin. Sweat covers my face and body. The air movement chills the moist molecules. I lean against the backrest, close my eyes, and focus on my breathing.
In. Out. In. Out. One. Two. One. Two. Slow. Deep. Breaths.
I can't believe I'm breathing so hard. That my body feels like it just climbed Mount Everest when I barely ran a mile. I was doing three miles without getting winded just two months ago. What is happening to my edge? The one I've worked so hard to maintain all these years?
My feet ache inside my shoes. The swelling making it hard for them to fit, but keep shoving them inside each day. I refuse to get out of my routine. I must keep up with life. My schedule. My to do list. I cannot let this take over.
I grab my water bottle off the bench where I slammed it down next to me a couple minutes before, and squeeze the water into my mouth. My breathing has slowed enough for me to take two mouthful gulps before I have to surrender my thirst of water for air.
In. Out. In. Out. One. Two. One. Two. Slow. Deep. Breaths.
Another gulp of water. I retire the bottle back to the bench.
My hand glides up to my rounded belly, an unconscious movement I've been catching myself doing more often now since I'm showing. Should I slow down? The doctor said I could keep up regular exercise, and this is under regular for me. But, it's taking a toll on my body. Exhaustion is threatening to take over every time I sit down.
A small kick against my hand lets me know my baby is feeding off my adrenaline. Soon the high will be gone and I will be left with my sleep deprived eyes and a runny nose. Curse those new hormones.
Another kick, this one pressing against my hand long enough to make me realize there is more to my life than just myself now. And maybe I should be taking my body and how it's under extra stress from growing another life into consideration. I take a deep breath, my breathing returning to normal. Well, that's a decision for tomorrow. Today, I still have a page long to do list to get done.

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