Drowning. How many of you have felt like you can't catch your breath? Things that need to get done fill your lungs like droplets of water, and all you can do is hold your breath, praying that you will reach the surface before you drown.
That's how I feel. Some days I am okay. I go throughout the day, getting things done like a task master, checking those items off my list, feeling good, calm, accomplished. Other days are like today.
The thing that is easy to forget is that, as a mom, there are about a thousand things we do everyday that go silently unnoticed. When people think of stay at home moms, they think we stay home, eat lots of food, watch tv, read books, veg on the sofa, and don't do a thing. Even I am guilty of this, and I am a STAY AT HOME MOM!!! I don't know if it is an inherited thing, or if it's something the world has convinced me of, but I feel like I don't do anything, when really, I am constantly on the move and doing tons of things.
My dear friend, Jewel, has had me write a few "ta-done" lists. It's amazing to go back and start remembering all the things that felt like unimportant things, are actually important, and wouldn't have gotten done without me.
Here's my ta done list for today, and it's 10:30 am, so I've been up for 4 hours now.
Get Holland out of bed.
Get Holland bottle.
Change Holland's diaper.
Change Holland's clothes.
Gather laundry.
Put sheets in laundry.
Help Hesston wake up.
Give boys cuddles.
Give boys bathtime.
Get boys dressed.
Switch clothes from washer to dryer.
Fix breakfast.
Feed boys.
Eat.
Empty clean dishes from dishwasher.
Load dishwasher with dirty breakfast dishes.
Wipe down kitchen tables, counters, and stove top.
Clean out sink.
Switch clothes in laundry.
Put Holland down for nap.
Put sheets on bed.
Remake bed.
Go upstairs and open blinds
Turn on air conditioners
Help Hesston make his bed
Make sure Hesston has quiet toys to play with while I get ready
Take a shower
Get ready
Check my email
Read a friend's writing
Watch a training video
Check out the online seminary teacher website
Write a blog post
And here I am!!!
That's my ta done list, only 4 hours into my day.
Now I'm catching my breath. I'm not drowning any more. Sometimes all it takes is a little ta done list to affirm that you've done a lot already, and everything is okay. What about you? Have you made a ta done list? Could it help you catch your breath too?
Wednesday, August 30, 2017
Inspired
The soft cry of my one year old waking early from his nap fills the air, followed by an ear piercing scream from my five year old who broke a toy. I hold my breath, hoping that they will be able to endure without me. Thankfully, they both self soothe and a relative calm settles back over the house.
I relax back into the soft pillows and resume writing.
Whirring of the washing machine tells me it's about time to get up and switch the load to the dryer. I stretch my legs and tell myself to keep writing, that soon enough I will get up and be productive. But right now, it's okay to be lazy and just run my fingers over the keys, to record this blip of life.
A bird call outside the window reminds me that the day is just beginning, and I need to enjoy the quiet moments. It's too easy to get distracted by all the sights and sounds demanding my attention. Especially when those demands come as repeated pleas from tiny people I love.
I take a deep breath, clearing my lungs, and smell the freshly washed sheets I just put on the bed a few minutes ago. Red raspberry tea steam mists the air as I lift the mug to my lips. I take a small sip and set it back down on the side table. I really do need to get up and switch the laundry now. The lock just clicked open, signaling the end of the load.
I take another sip of tea and sigh. Soon. Soon I will get to the laundry. It can wait another minute or two.
The click clack of the keys on the keyboard make me feel like I am accomplishing something, even though I am sitting still. Maybe I am being productive, even if it isn't something that manifests itself physically.
Remnant aromas from breakfast, toasted bread and fried eggs, cling to the filtered air even though I cleaned up right after the kids got done eating. Wonder if I should open the windows to let in some fresh air. Hmmm...
My eyes squint as I stare at bright light of the laptop. Even though morning sunshine filters through the window shade, lighting the room, the glare is hurting my eyes. Maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night. I got more than my husband. He stayed up late so I could talk to him, sacrificing precious sleep time. My heart tingles with warmth. Sure do love that man.
I enjoy writing. Like to steal moments like these, windows of opportunity to get words typed. They don't happen often. And I find myself overwhelmed with guilt when I do take moments to write and neglect my "motherly/wifely" duties.
I glance away from the screen, scanning the bedroom. My husband's hats hang on the bedpost. I smile, think of the man I love. How does he keep up with it all? Work, church calling, family demands...even though it may sounds simple, there are about a hundred subcategories under those three. And he does it all with only small sips of sleep here and there. Last night, he got about five and a half hours, and that's a good night for him. When did sleep become such a novelty? How do I convince my kids that sleep is a good thing? And they should appreciate it now, because they won't get much when they're older.
The outdated pictures of my family on the dresser need to be replaced. One of these days I will remember to add "update family pictures" on my to do list. Probably when we get our next photo shoot, and the new pictures will be outdated again. Why do my kids have to grow up so fast? I wish I could slow down time.
My little guy lets out another scream...well, slowing down time can be overrated. It would be nice if it sped up during the hard times.
Inspiration comes from all around us. All we have to do is reach out and grab it. Put it into words. One day, I will look back on this post and wish for the quiet moment. That mom guilt. The world in which all was well.
I relax back into the soft pillows and resume writing.
Whirring of the washing machine tells me it's about time to get up and switch the load to the dryer. I stretch my legs and tell myself to keep writing, that soon enough I will get up and be productive. But right now, it's okay to be lazy and just run my fingers over the keys, to record this blip of life.
A bird call outside the window reminds me that the day is just beginning, and I need to enjoy the quiet moments. It's too easy to get distracted by all the sights and sounds demanding my attention. Especially when those demands come as repeated pleas from tiny people I love.
I take a deep breath, clearing my lungs, and smell the freshly washed sheets I just put on the bed a few minutes ago. Red raspberry tea steam mists the air as I lift the mug to my lips. I take a small sip and set it back down on the side table. I really do need to get up and switch the laundry now. The lock just clicked open, signaling the end of the load.
I take another sip of tea and sigh. Soon. Soon I will get to the laundry. It can wait another minute or two.
The click clack of the keys on the keyboard make me feel like I am accomplishing something, even though I am sitting still. Maybe I am being productive, even if it isn't something that manifests itself physically.
Remnant aromas from breakfast, toasted bread and fried eggs, cling to the filtered air even though I cleaned up right after the kids got done eating. Wonder if I should open the windows to let in some fresh air. Hmmm...
My eyes squint as I stare at bright light of the laptop. Even though morning sunshine filters through the window shade, lighting the room, the glare is hurting my eyes. Maybe I didn't get enough sleep last night. I got more than my husband. He stayed up late so I could talk to him, sacrificing precious sleep time. My heart tingles with warmth. Sure do love that man.
I enjoy writing. Like to steal moments like these, windows of opportunity to get words typed. They don't happen often. And I find myself overwhelmed with guilt when I do take moments to write and neglect my "motherly/wifely" duties.
I glance away from the screen, scanning the bedroom. My husband's hats hang on the bedpost. I smile, think of the man I love. How does he keep up with it all? Work, church calling, family demands...even though it may sounds simple, there are about a hundred subcategories under those three. And he does it all with only small sips of sleep here and there. Last night, he got about five and a half hours, and that's a good night for him. When did sleep become such a novelty? How do I convince my kids that sleep is a good thing? And they should appreciate it now, because they won't get much when they're older.
The outdated pictures of my family on the dresser need to be replaced. One of these days I will remember to add "update family pictures" on my to do list. Probably when we get our next photo shoot, and the new pictures will be outdated again. Why do my kids have to grow up so fast? I wish I could slow down time.
My little guy lets out another scream...well, slowing down time can be overrated. It would be nice if it sped up during the hard times.
Inspiration comes from all around us. All we have to do is reach out and grab it. Put it into words. One day, I will look back on this post and wish for the quiet moment. That mom guilt. The world in which all was well.
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