I have decided that if we do not use and appreciate our talents and gifts, they will diminish, and eventually be taken away. Since I don't want either of those things to happen, I am going to start using this little resource as an outlet for my thoughts and use the talent of writing I have been given.
Once upon a time, about a year ago, I was a stay-at-home wife who had everything I could ask for. A loving husband, a good business that brought in a good income, a nice home, a loving family that lived close, and all the things a person could ever ask for. Then, one day, after a Christmas Concert that awoke my soul, I decided to shake things up a bit. And when I say a bit, I usually mean, a lot. Changes in my life are not subtle, they are usually like big earthquakes that throw me out into the cold and barren wilderness of the unknown. Well, like history, my life repeated itself, and I am now finding myself in the not-so-cold, but desert state of Arizona. Now, nothing against Arizona, but my life has been tipped upside down. Don't worry, nothing too bad, but that is all perspective of the onlooker.
To name a few things that have changed...in Idaho, we lived out in the middle of nowhere. Our closest neighbor was about a half mile or more away, and we were surrounded by beautiful, rolling fields full of potatoes, grain, sugar beets, and hay. Our house was settled on top of one of the highest hills, and it overlooked the beautiful terrain God had created for us to be happy. It was a quiet place, only a tractor or pickup driving by every couple of hours (on a good day). And, the beauty of the earth was more abundant than any other place I have seen. The fields would be tilled in the spring, the dirt turned over to get the moisture to the top for planting seeds. Then, a couple weeks later, little green blades of plants would appear. Sometimes rain or hail would wipe out the plants, and the farmers would have to start over, but the plants grew again. A month would pass, and the tiny green plants would grow and take shape into leaves, stalks, and tubes under the ground. As August rolled around, the grain would yellow or redden, creating a patchwork quilt illusion from the sky. Circles where pivots watered the crops, and squares where pipe or wheel lines were used. Even some triangles in the corners where the pivots could not reach. Then, the potatoes would bloom, and white flowers on top of the plants would fill the air with a sweet aroma. Grain harvest would begin, and massive pieces of metal called combines, grain carts, tractors, and ten-wheelers would fill the fields and busy the roads. Next came potato harvest, with harvesters, trucks, and more tractors. Sugar beets followed potatoes, and the cycle continued with corn. Once the harvest ended, the fields would return to the familiar shade of brown by huge plows, discs, and roller harrows that tilled and smoothed the land, readying it for next year's planting season. If lucky, some farmers would plant winter wheat, and a few flicks of green would spring from the earth before it became blanketed with tiny white snowflakes. Winter time was a time of recuperation. Farmers would work in their shops, repairing equipment, building new equipment to help better their seasons, and if the harvest was fruitful, maybe a vacation or two was ensued, usually to somewhere tropical to escape the freezing cold. It was a simple life, but a hard one at that. It came with comforts, and also hardships. After all, farming is one of the most dangerous occupations. But, it was a peaceful place, a place of familiarity and refuge.
Well, needless to say, I had a bright idea of shaking things up on the night of December 1st, 2009. And, my loving husband, the adventure seeker he is, quickly agreed to my wild idea of moving out of state. We had been tossing around the idea for a couple months, feeling a change in the winds, but once the snow fell, we decided to head south, and Arizona was our destination. We had already sold the business, and had a large chunk of change burning a hole in our pockets, so we were confident we could make it wherever we went. Now, we didn't just up and leave, we made a few phone calls, got my husband a job the next day (literally December 2nd and flew out December 3rd for Phoenix, leaving me to tell my mom and family that we were leaving...not the easiest thing I've done in my life). Two weeks later, we had ourselves a new home, a pair of new jobs, and all our worldly possessions packed into the biggest U-haul you can rent.
The trek south was fairly uneventful, except for Las Vegas, and yep, you guessed it, good old Provo, Utah. Those crazy Utah drivers almost got us killed, and themselves. As we were heading south on I-15, we had to move over, because the lane was ending. Well, after about 5 miles with our blinkers on, and nobody letting us in, (people would actually speed up and scrunch together their cars tighter just so we wouldn't get in front of them, heaven forbid! There are still 3 other lanes to pass, so just move over)...our friends who were driving our two cars (my husband was driving the U-haul with trailer, and I was driving the pickup with camp trailer), had to actually pull into the other lanes, and slow traffic down just so we could get in. Well, as I was moving in behind my husband in the huge U-haul I couldn't see around, traffic had backed up from the off-ramp, to a complete stop on the freeway in the lane we had just been in. I missed the last car by inches, thanks to our dear friends who saved a lot of lives that day.
Anyway, other than that little blip, our moving trip was perfect. We got all our stuff moved in within a couple of hours (thanks to our Elder's Quorum), and I got us all unpacked in a week. Our house was, and still is, just as beautiful as it looked in the pictures (yes, my husband was the only one to see it before we moved here. Talk about trust, huh?). And, we have been overly blessed with our jobs, and friends down here. Very thankful for that.
But, after living in paradise, our world has changed when it comes to the outside world. We now live in a desert, full of wild dogs, pigs, and snakes, not to mention the scorpions...those can never be tamed. And, the scenery never changes. There are huge cacti that reach over 30 feet tall and have been living for hundreds of years, and desert bushes, trees, and plants that are either always dead looking (branches), or always green...but mostly branches. And, there is dirt, lots of it. I used to love when it rained. The smell of rain was a scent to behold, but in Arizona, it smells like a wet dog mixed with caked dirt...not my favorite smell, and it humidifies the dry desert air, which feels strange.
Now, to mention the city, awww, yes, the city lights illuminate the night sky, and it is true that a city as big as Phoenix never sleeps. There are times when I love the city, and times when I hate it. I hate it because I can't see out over it...if you have never been to Phoenix before, it is in a valley, which is very flat. So, even though the city is the fifth largest in the nation, you would never be able to tell, because you can't actually see it, unless you fly over it, or drive through it. And, it is sprawled across the huge valley, from east to west, and the west side is still growing.
I hate it when I want to have some peace and quite. Since there are so many people, well, people mean cars, and cars mean noise, and noise means energy, which means, no peace. And, there are so many people! It is crazy! You hardly ever see someone you know...I think I have seen someone I know twice since I have moved here, and I am out every day.
The people can be very strange. You see all types, to say the least. Phoenix is a huge mishmash of people from all across the world, which is both a blessing and curse. A blessing because you learn about the cultures, and a curse because sometimes people can be just straight out crazy. And, at other times, I love all these reasons.
Now, I know I am rambling, and I really need to wrap it up, but as you can see, my world has changed quite a bit. I am now a working woman, who manages 10 employees, and I drive about 45 minutes every day to work, in traffic. I no longer get to stay home and enjoy the pretty scenery, because there is nothing to be seen, except our neighbor's messy yards and roof tops. And, there is no peace...if it is not cars, it is dogs, or jets, or the trains that pass by throughout the day and night. All I can say is, I made a decision to change my life, to do something different than what was known, or comfortable. Like I say, at times I love it for the freedom and independence it brings, and other times I hate it and want to run back to the safety of home and family. But, my independence is winning, and with that independence, I must confess, has brought me much happiness.
I have found that I can do so much more than I ever imagined. I can have confidence in my decisions, make my own decisions, and live my life the way I want to live it, and not be considered strange because it is different than those around me. I can do anything, and be successful at it if I invest myself 110%. I can be whoever I want to be, and I can be the change I want to see in others. I can touch people's lives from all areas and corners of the earth. And, I can make a difference. Why hide under a rock? Is it because it is comfortable, or is it because we have never learned what it feels like to fly?
I heard a story once that was about eagles. See, animals and humans are a lot alike, but sometimes even animals can outdo us.
There was this eagle, and she had two eggs. One day, the eggs hatched, and two tiny eaglets were revealed to the world. The nest the mother eagle had built for her young was warm, soft, and comfortable. She took care of them, bringing them food. They began to grow, and as they grew, the mother began to remove the soft items from the nest until there were only sticks. The eaglets were starting to get uncomfortable, but they stayed within the nest, because it was all they knew. So, one day, the mother eagle took her two chicks and had them get on her back. She flew really high in the sky, and the eaglets were loving the scenery. Then, a strange thing happened, the mother eagle shook off the eaglets and let them fall. As they were falling, they were very frightened, and were wondering why their mother had done that to them. Then, just as they were about to hit the ground, their mother snatched them back up on her back. She flew up into the sky again, and they eaglets were a little nervous this time around, because they remembered what happened last time. As they reached the desired height, the mother did the same thing, and shook the eaglets off her back. They lost altitude quickly, and both were frightened, and just before they hit the ground, mother snatched them up again. By this time, they were both confused and didn't know if they trusted their mother anymore, but on the flight back up to the sky, they both decided they needed to try and use their wings this time. So, mother tossed them off her back, and both eagles opened their wings and flew. And, with this new discovery, they gained freedom.
See, we are just like those chicks. We can try to cling onto our comfort zone (our nest), or even fall to our death by doing nothing (not using our talents). Or, we can open our wings and fly, even if we are afraid. It is the challenges, fears, and insecurities we have inside that hold us back. We are our own worst enemy. So, why not "shake things up a little", and try something new. Who knows, you may just find freedom and love it. As one wise person once said..."Come what may and love it!"
P.S. When you try something new with someone you love, it will also bring you closer, because you only have each other to rely on.
