Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Bare Minimum

Why do we only do the bare minimum? The essential? Why don’t we do more than just what is required of us? And why do we sometimes not even do that? Why is there a minimum? Do we naturally set lower expectations than what we’re capable of?

We have minimum wage. Minimum work requirements. Minimum hiring requirements. Minimum speed (that one doesn’t usually seem to be a problem, since most of us like to go fast). But you get my drift. We contribute the minimum and feel like we’ve done a job well-done. When in reality, we’ve done just enough.

My question is why?

Why do we let ourselves fall short? Why do we allow our lives, our potential to be wasted? Are we really that far from deity that we can’t remember why we’re here? What we are capable of? What our potential is? Are we just too lazy? Or are we too busy?

As I look back on my day, I see all the things I’ve gotten done. All the items I’ve checked off my to do list. But there are at least double the items I didn’t have on my list, and still got done. It’s only on my lazy days that I do the minimum, which I hate to admit, does come more often than I’d like. But why do I need to set a to do list in the first place? Can’t I just see what needs to be done, and then do it? Or am I so distracted that I can’t even see those things?

As I was getting up to take care of my sick infant, I thought about this phenomenon that we’ve limited ourselves to just doing the bare minimum when it comes to doing something that we either don’t really want to be doing, don’t enjoy, or feel like we have to do because it is required, either to survive, or to maintain a status of something we want.

For example, my husband and I have been married for 10 years. In those 10 years, we have established different parameters that we need to make ourselves and each other happy. For example: my husband likes it when I welcome him with a smile and hug when he gets home from work each day. Simple. Easy. And I like it when he is employed and supports our family. Simple. Easy. So you see, we have these base ideas, or requirements that seem like common sense, but can sometimes set the bar too low.

Now, my husband is amazing, and literally only requires sleep, some words of affirmation, and physical touch. And as for me, I feel like he does such a great job with providing for us, that he doesn’t need to do more. But because both of us love each other so much and want our relationship to not only survive, but to thrive, we go above and beyond what is required. Like, my husband doesn’t expect me to do dishes every day, but I do. My husband doesn’t expect a clean house, but I do (this is how I show him I love him-even though he really could care less…hmmm…makes me want to see how messy things could get. Just kidding). Ted comes home happy, ready to scoop up our boys in his arms and play. Everyone loves when daddy gets home, because daddy’s fresh. Daddy’s happy. He has energy. Usually by that time of day, mom has run around and played so much her tank is on empty, and there’s lots of clean up before the end of the day. But back to my point, why do we contribute more than just what is required to our relationship? Answer: because we want to it work, and we want it to thrive. So, why don’t we apply that same principle to the rest of our lives? And what if we did? Do you? And if you do, what kind of success do you see? How can we be more than just what is required of us? The bare minimum?

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